She said her name was "party"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
