oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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