i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
