i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
