Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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