Pappa wants mamma naked
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
