Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i now understand why vodka
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
