He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
