Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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