at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
