K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
