im having a threesome with these popsicles
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
