I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize