ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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