It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
