You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
