also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
