I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
