It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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