the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
