So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There r osticjed everywhere
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
