He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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