their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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