Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
