I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
