Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
