Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
