Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
