There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
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