I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
its not stalking. its research.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
