Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
