I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
