I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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