white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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