My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
