I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
