I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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