I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
