Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
