last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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