Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
