I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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