Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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