You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
love makes seman taste better
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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