New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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