the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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