If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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