what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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