So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
