dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
