I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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