Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
