he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
