if you like me you must not know who I am
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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