Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
