this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
