Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
