Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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